Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
