i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Randomize
