moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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