I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Randomize
