It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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