I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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