i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
only if we run a train.
done.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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