Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
