If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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