hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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