in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
