They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
