Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have feelings that need drinking.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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