You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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