I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Randomize
