belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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