Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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