even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
