Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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