Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
