You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize