Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
