The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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