ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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