so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
