She is in my trunk
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize