and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
