Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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