so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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