I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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