p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
