Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
