I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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