Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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