guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
