That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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