just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
