dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I think people are normalizing furries
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
