well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
