apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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