eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
