I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
