Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
