You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
