You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
