it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize