When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
