I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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