Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Shame - the story of my life.
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