nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
