I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
