no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think I died a long time ago.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
