I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
