I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
