U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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