let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
