Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
