you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
