the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
4 words: hood of his car
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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