i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
