I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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