you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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